...
When you see my post with ... it means that I've no idea what can I say or what should I say... you can't feel how I feel as you are not me...
Just got home from bringing Daddy back, once again disappointment is all I felt I don't know if I should harbour any hope that at least one day he will be home early and not be drunk. I'm tired of my life living like this but as long as he don't leave me I guess I can still go on...
My journey out I kept thinking I guess I will always behave like a child and not wanting to grow up maybe because I've always hoped for parental love... I just hope to be able to sit down and have my own family gathering just like long long time ago I can't remember how does it feels like as all I can remember is that we always end up in fights...
The fear of loneliness is there... There was a gal who woke up at night and found that she is alone at home, crying out loud for people around her but to no avail and that was me even though they just went out but to me it's like abandonment and darkness engulfed me and tears of fear just flow downed...
Last year Sept, I felt the same when my most beloved one left me forever... Never again will I be able to taste what she cooks, never again can I show her all my new stuffs and never again will I be able to see her face... Right now I still felt lost... I'm wasting my life just like that... I just want to feel the same care from someone closer now, it is the only force to keeps me going I cannot handle another lost if that comes I think I might not be able to take it...
Unspoken words doesn't mean I don't care it's just that I don't know how to show it. To my friends out there pardon me for being this way and to some of you stop torturing me cause it really hurts... Just let me go if you think I'm not worthy of your friendship as I'm really tired trying to maintain them. Accept me for who I am and not what you want me to be, I'm not what you think I might be so stop pinning hope that I will change cause I'm tired. How many time have you seen me really cry? None as I'm trying not to burden you all as you will never feel how I feel, the pain...
Sorrows and Misery have engulfed my whole life I don't think I can be saved now
Just got home from bringing Daddy back, once again disappointment is all I felt I don't know if I should harbour any hope that at least one day he will be home early and not be drunk. I'm tired of my life living like this but as long as he don't leave me I guess I can still go on...
My journey out I kept thinking I guess I will always behave like a child and not wanting to grow up maybe because I've always hoped for parental love... I just hope to be able to sit down and have my own family gathering just like long long time ago I can't remember how does it feels like as all I can remember is that we always end up in fights...
The fear of loneliness is there... There was a gal who woke up at night and found that she is alone at home, crying out loud for people around her but to no avail and that was me even though they just went out but to me it's like abandonment and darkness engulfed me and tears of fear just flow downed...
Last year Sept, I felt the same when my most beloved one left me forever... Never again will I be able to taste what she cooks, never again can I show her all my new stuffs and never again will I be able to see her face... Right now I still felt lost... I'm wasting my life just like that... I just want to feel the same care from someone closer now, it is the only force to keeps me going I cannot handle another lost if that comes I think I might not be able to take it...
Unspoken words doesn't mean I don't care it's just that I don't know how to show it. To my friends out there pardon me for being this way and to some of you stop torturing me cause it really hurts... Just let me go if you think I'm not worthy of your friendship as I'm really tired trying to maintain them. Accept me for who I am and not what you want me to be, I'm not what you think I might be so stop pinning hope that I will change cause I'm tired. How many time have you seen me really cry? None as I'm trying not to burden you all as you will never feel how I feel, the pain...
Sorrows and Misery have engulfed my whole life I don't think I can be saved now
posted by =|llus|on= at
3:59 AM
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