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Thanks Joy and the rest for the movie and sorry for being late... I really miss those days where we used to spend time together but that was in the past. I do cherish the little time we spend even though we just went for a movie and head home after that. Joy I know you are trying to help me I appreciates it alot but I need to make my own decision and thinks about what I want in life. After sending hui to board her bus I blast on to my ipod and back to reality...

Walking down the streets feeling lost and not knowing what to do or where should i head. I can say that loneliness is all I felt, I don't wanna head home but then I've no where to go so I just sit at my block the void deck and stoned... What should I do???

Earlier on the way to meet them I read Freedom Writer Diary throughout my train journey, the book is all about the entries of pupils from 203 and with every pages I read I cry cause i feel them though I'm not in the war like they are and what I feel is that I'm definitely more fortunate to live in a safe country where racism doesn't exist. It really pains me to read them and makes me wonder how can people judge someone just by their colors? Why can't they live in peace? Why do they have to jumped on one another just because they are of different race; religion? After all aren't we the same as humans? Everyone who contributed to the book experience war within themselves, they experience being molested, attack by gangster, running for their lives with other group jumping on them with guns and sadly they have experience pain of losing someone close to them because of stupid fights. Compared with them we are really far off fortunate living here in SG but it seems that nowadays kids don't appreciate that... Haiz...

I guess I've to put it all behind me and look towards the future but I just can't, chatted with Bel and she say I don't have to move on just have to let it go a little and that granny will be looking over you and that she stands a special place in my heart. Thanks alot for listening to my trouble and she provide me with this quote:

Be strong now, because things will get better.
It might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever

Thanks you Bel, you are really sweet. I keep telling her how much I miss and how much I find myself stupid to be crying for unworthy peeps but she just give encouraging words.

Newly added @ 3.03am just reach home throughout the whole journey I'm living in fear, I don't like it when he talks to me when he is drunk I'm scare and worried about it... Lost... helped me